Third-Party Intervention

In some conflicts, the situations are so difficult that we often turn to others for help. This need for third-party intervention is something that I see very often in my role as a Resident Advisor for Carlow University. Of the many types of intervention, in my position, I use one more often than others. This would be the method of mediating. Wilmot and Hocker, in their book on Interpersonal Communication, state that mediation helps the parties involved in conflict negotiate to reach agreement. They also say that, “mediation is the art of changing people’s positions with the explicit aim of acceptance of a package put together by both sides, with the mediator as a listened, suggestion-giver, the formulator of final agreements to which both sides have contributed.” My role as mediator is to facilitate the parties to the dispute to reach an agreement themselves. As an RA, when residents in the residence halls are engaged in conflict, often times regarding differences in opinions, roommate issues, or such, it is necessary to conduct mediation. I have been trained in mediation and have successfully mediated many residents. During the mediation, the residents will come into the office. I begin the mediation with explain why we are here. After the floor is set, the residents have the opportunity to state their cases or their sides of the stories. Sometimes, the residents get into heated arguments. It is my job to calm them down and map out the situation to reach an agreement on the issue. In other situations, the residents will refuse to talk or even look at each other. In these situations, it is my job to get the conversation flowing in order to reach an agreement between parties. As the residents are actively negotiating, I take a step back and make sure they are being respectful of one another. I have the ability to step in if they get out of line or offer my advice/opinion if they ask a question. However, limitations to mediation exist. In some cases, the residents are so uncomfortable with one another that they refuse to speak to the other. And In other cases, mediating simply just does not work. Also, if the residents are not committed to resolving the conflict, the mediation will not work. This is often the case with roommate issues: a resident moves in with another, doesn’t like the other roommates style of living, and rather than working out small conflicts themselves, they choose to ignore the issues until they escalate and can no longer tolerate living with each other. At this point, all they want is a new roommate and are not committed to working on the relationship at hand. Overall, the use of mediation in my position as a Resident Advisor has been successful in teaching me about negotiation and allowing the residents to negotiate conflicts on their own.