Power Currencies

Power Currencies are “how much your particular resources are valued by the other persons in a relationship context (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). They are called power currencies because they are similar to money. There are four different types of power currencies that people can have over one another. They are called R.I.C.E.; Resource Control, Interpersonal Linkage, Communication Skills, and Expertise. Your power depends on these types of “currencies,” because power depends on having currencies that other people need. And in return, if other people possess currencies that you need, they have power over you (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). For example, one power currency that I have is that of resource control (pg. 118.) Resource control comes with ones position in an organization or group. It can also be identified with controlling punishments or rewards. I am a Resident Assistant at Carlow University. I am in charge of a floor of girls in the residence hall. I must enforce the rules, keep order, and be a resource of information to my girls. I have resource control over my floor. I have the ability to control their resources, their rewards, and their punishments. I can approve them to have an overnight guest or deny them that right. I have the ability to punish them by writing them up if that are not following the rules. And I have the ability to reward them with fun floor parties every month or so. I have a resource power currency over my floor. On the other hand, a currency someone has over me is that of Expertise. The expertise currency is identified by special skills or knowledge in a particular area. The person with expertise currency I am referring to is the Verizon employee who helped me when I got a new phone. A few months ago, I bought an iPhone. I was so happy and could not wait to play with it! (Because that’s what phones are for, right?) I had had my phone for about a half of an hour. We left the Verizon store and my phone would not turn on. I tried to restart it and nothing happened. I tried to plug it in, thinking it was dead, and nothing happened. I was panicked! They gave me a faulty phone. I immediately went back to Verizon and asked for a new phone. One of the workers assisted me. He took my phone, held in two buttons at the same time, and my phone turned on. He said that every once in a while, that happens, but not to worry because it is normal. His special talents for this phone and his skills and knowledge of knowing this product allow him to have Expertise Currency over me. Power currencies are something very intriguing and it is interesting to think about your power currencies that you could have in many situations.

Motivation in College

In Chapter 6 of Wilmot and Hocker’s text, Interpersonal Conflict, Functions of Conflict are discussed. One of these functions is that Emotions help people to adapt. There are six principles that Izard and Ackerman have formed that help people adapt from our emotions. The very first of the principles is that, “Motivation Depends on Emotions.” They say that, “Our behavioral goals depend on our feelings (pg. 200, (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). I found this part of the text particularly interesting. When you think about this statement, that motivation depends on emotions, it’s actually stunningly true. I was thinking about any situation that I have ever been in. Or rather, a situation where I was deeply motivated to do something and this led me to my involvement in college. Now, in high school, I was partially involved. I was the treasurer of the Future Business Leaders of America, I worked on many homecoming floats for the homecoming parade, and I was even on the prom committee. But in reality, spread across four years, this isn’t much involvement. I remember making the decision that I was going to be more involved in college because I “needed it for my resume,” and because it “looks good” to be involved. But now, after reading Wilmot and Hocker on how emotions help us adapt, I can identify what really was the source of my motivation and what was my perceived source of my motivation. What I perceived was my source of motivation for getting involved in college was that I thought that being more involved would look good on a resume. However, my real source of motivation was in fact my emotions. I felt motivated by my feelings of being uninvolved, not being a part of something, and sometime even loneliness and lack of belonging.  In college, I got involved in as many and as much as I possibly could. It even took a toll on my body because I was simply doing too much. From experiencing the emotion of being work out, tired, run-down and just generally spread too far thin, I was motivated to reduce my involvement. I was scared when I did this. I felt that I did not want to disappoint anyone. However, in the big picture, I was letting people down already by not giving my 100% to the ten different groups I was in. After that number was reduced to 4 groups, I was happier, I wasn’t tired all of the time, and I was still able to remain friends with the people in the groups I had reduced my participation in. I was motivated to take all of these actions because of my emotions. Wilmot and Hocker say that we don’t act without reason and the reason for our actions is rooted in our feelings (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). This sounds so simple when you think about it this way! Every action that we take is because of something, someone and some emotion. For me, this has helped me take a much better look at my emotions in any given situation and find the real cause of my motivation.

Conflict Avoidance in Ireland

In September of 2011, I took the opportunity to study abroad in Ireland. I would be staying in Ireland for 4 months, (from September to December,) and I was looking forward to many things. I was looking forward to the food, the culture, the traveling and most of all-the new friends that I would make. I was not going over completely alone though. Six other students from Carlow University in Pittsburgh would accompany me on the journey. I knew the other girls, but were not friends with any of them. Still, it was reassuring knowing that I had six other people from generally the same area thousands of miles away from home with me. Fast forward two weeks and I found myself becoming close with two Carlow University students. We will call them "Katie" and "Saundra". I did everything with Katie and Saundra. We walked the few miles to school every day, we shopped together, and we even started eating all of our meals together. It seemed that these girls were becoming very close to me. I felt as though they were becoming my family away from my actual family, and I became the same for the girls. (It is important to mention that both Katie and Saundra had boyfriends that were back in America while we were abroad.) We shared stories, laughs, tears and every day moments with one another. As our time progressed, we started taking trips together. We all three got along great and had some wonderful experiences. So you may be asking, where's the conflict? The conflict can be found by taking a look at Saundra and her long-distance boyfriend "Alan." Saundra and Alan had only been dating for a few months when Saundra left for Ireland. They talked about the difficulties of maintaining a long distance relationship, but concluded that their feelings for one another were strong enough and they could make the relationship work. In Ireland, Saundra and Alan talked as much as they possibly could. It seemed as though they both were very much in love. However, after about a month, Saundra would come out of talking on the phone or Skyping with Alan and she would be in tears. Sometimes, Katie and I would hear her from the bedroom screaming at Alan and we could even sometimes hear him screaming at her. We knew something was wrong, but whenever we asked Saundra about it, she always said that they were fine. As time went on, Saundra began crying more regularly and multiple times a day. When Katie and I asked her what was wrong, she would always reply, "NOTHING." Now, when you are sitting in front of two very close friends and you are crying hysterically, and you tell them that nothing is wrong, chances are that they will not believe you. Saundra's crying put a damper on everyone. She was always sad, usually always crying, and made any situation awkward because of her mood. When approached by me alone, she would open up more and say, "Alan is being a jerk,” but nothing more. Katie and I got to the point where we asked Saundra almost 7 times a day, "What's wrong?" or "Why are you crying?" She still replied with, "Nothing." Saundra was avoiding her conflict with Alan. As a side effect, she was also avoiding opening up about her conflict to Katie and I. Katie and I sensed these issues and Saundra. We saw that she was not opening up to us about it and this in turn caused conflict between Katie and I and Saundra. In the eighth edition of Interpersonal Conflict, Wilmot and Hocker state that one disadvantage of conflict is that it tends to demonstrate to other people that one does not care enough to confront them and gives the impression that one cannot change (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). Katie and I felt that Saundra didn't care enough about our opinions or didn't care enough about our friendships to open up to us about her own conflict. We perceived that she was avoiding the conflict with us. Because of this, there was a barrier put in place by the conflict avoidance. By Saundra's direct denial that anything was wrong, it pushed Katie and me away, but not the conflict. Saundra's conflict with Katie and me as well as with Alan started affecting her in more than one way. She began experiencing health problems and was sick all the time it seemed. This observation is in parallel with that of Wilmot and Hocker in Interpersonal Conflict. On page 152, they say that avoidance in conflict has the ability to circle back and affect the avoider. Another thing that was clearly present that the conflict simmered and heated up unnecessarily and there was no avenue provided for reducing it. Because of all of the conflict avoidance, Saundra became distance from Katie and I. We were still friends, but there were issues with trust and honesty that were not being met. Fast forward back to America and Katie and I are still great friends! However, Saundra had a rough time coming home. She had a terrible break up with her boyfriend. The entire time she was in Ireland, he was cheating on her with her best friend from home. She lost her best friend and her boyfriend. She needed someone to be there for her. Katie and I, of course, were there for her. However, we were withdrawn on our part. We still felt that she was avoiding the conflict that arose in Ireland and was looking past it because she needed friends. We helped Saundra through her issues. We don't talk to her very much, but on occasion we run into her on campus. It's nice to see her not crying. This situation could have been very different if the conflict was not avoided. In Ireland, as stated, we tried to bring the conflict up, but the only thing Saundra did was avoid it. Conflict avoidance can severely hurt a relationship, no matter how long or short the relationship is. I am happy that I was able to see these issues after the situation unfolded.